to perish like a sheep - why remember?

why remember myself?

1) chemical transformations ...

remembering myself is the first conscious shock. the first conscious shock facilitates further digestion of food, air, and impressions, resulting in the production of higher substances. although lower centers work with coarser substances and energies, higher centers need to work with higher energies. so it would seem that allowing these energies to be further digested would facilitate the workings of these higher centers. on the other hand, higher centers are already functioning. i don't recall any mention that they are running on empty. there are also arguments about wrong use of centers, functions, and energies, and related economizing. certainly i want better health, vitality, sharpness.

i recall something about substances that make up bodies ... is that a long way off? i don't remember what that's about. perhaps i need to read more. in any case, people act as though just by accumulating higher energy that they are on the road to immortality. but no doubt i'll have more to say about that one day.

2) know thyself ...

a barrier to the work is that i think i am one and have the capacity to do what i want. the only way to see that this is not so is by trying to put that to a test. struggle. perhaps see that parts of what i took for unity might be set in opposition.

so? that only becomes meaningful if/when i realize there is something that i do not have that i really want. what do i want? why? how much? what if i don't particularly care, can the Work be my hobby? obviously that brings me back to what i including in a prior entry, "perish like a dog":

on a fourth way forum one participant indicated that gurdjieff said "Without aim, man no better than dog." (i haven't verified that gurdjieff said but don't particularly question it).

i've been hoping that as a result of some preliminaries that some innate question would emerge or mature. i even figured i'd awaken to the "terror of the situation." indeed, i might have caught a glimpse of that just over a year ago - worth reflecting on. also worth reflecting on whether i have verified anything at all.

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i recognize that those are in an odd order. normally the existential query would precede the technical "how to." wasn't it recounted in ISOTM that gurdjieff told ouspensky et al. that G. and the seekers once made a sheep conscious? the astonished group asked gurdjieff what they did with that creature, and gurdjieff responded, of course, that they ate it.

the reason i'm asking is that the proposition "remember myself" doesn't seem all that important to me right now. i'm thinking aloud why it is important.