a frail elderly crazy friend has a lifelong interest in the fourth way. since letting her talk uninterruptedly seemed unproductive, and since it seemed a respite might do us both some good, i suggested we sit quietly for a spell; she acceded. but who's bright idea was it to sit quietly - wasn't that my ego!?!? - although a break might be helpful, it might not! either way though, it's just accidental.
yet it seemed that the only way i might help her state was if my state was higher. so i suggested she sit in any manner she chose, and meanwhile i generally disregard her - i was not attempting to focus my mind or feelings or even some self-designed sequence of anything, but rather, i attempted to follow exactly instructions i had received from someone else, someone who shared it with me coming from a higher state. of course my intention was tainted by ego, even doing it then and there, already at variance to the instructions! but i hoped that the higher indication i strove towards might reconcile my own state at a higher level. the notion of being a "conscious egoist" came to mind, as though altruism might come as a byproduct of my attempt to introduce the higher to raise my normal state.
my friend and i did both find a bit of silence, so who knows who's state and level affected who's and how, or whether it was just the mechanics of taking a breather, or something else entirely - i cannot say. there's lots of danger of my ego grabbing the idea and blogging "i can DO!" though if you could see my state or the the state of my apartment you'd agree i cannot.
in any case, it seems ordinary helping is possible - that is, subject to mechanics, the law of accident, hit or miss, gratitude or scorn. ordinary helping comes out of ego and personality which cannot jump over their own knees, beyond the level of the worldly. it does seem that a well developed personality or less subjective consciousness would be more helpful by virtue of being present to see what's needed.
maybe in making a work effort or working for an aim, or if i've got something higher in me which might appear, it'll help someone on an evolutionary level, vertically. again, such worldly manifestation might be hit or miss, appreciated or scorned, although perhaps something higher might inform my actions. but there is a place for external considering - service, altruism. where else would service appear? and if i evolve, even up to my acquiring Will and Individuality, how can the quality of this service not also evolve?
in any case, even if it is just my ego that wants to be of service it seems serving others who are more conscious than i am is a safe bet, even respectable.
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.
perhaps that's personality's correlate for an eventual third line of work.
_________
*Robert Fripp aphorism from the bottom of what seems to be robert fripp et al.'s site.
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