wiseacrings/hiatus, revisited

"So that you may be able to put yourself in the place of that sympathetic Assyrian, I shall also explain to you that in general on your planet, then in the city of Babylon as well s at the present time, all the theories on such a question as they call it of 'the beyond,' or any other 'elucidation-of-details' of any definite 'fact,' are invented by those three-brained beings there in whom most of the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer are completely crystallized, in consequence of which there actively functins in their presence, that being property, which they themselves call 'cunning.' Owing to this, they consciously - of course consciously only with the sort of reason which it has already become long ago proper for them alone to possess - and moreover, merely automatically, gradually acquire in their common presence, the capacity for 'spotting' the weakness of the psyche of the surrounding beings like themselves; and this capacity gradually forms in them data which enagles them at times to sense and even to understand the peculiar logic of the beings around them, and according to these data, they invent and propound one of their 'theories' concerning this or that question; and because, as I have already told you, in most of the three-brained beings there, owing to the abnormal conditions of ordinary being-existence established there by them themselves, the being-function called 'instinctively-to-sense-cosmic-truths' gradually atrophies, then, if any one of them happens to devote himself to the detailed study of any one of these 'theories,' he is bound, whether he wishes or not, to be persuaded by it with the whole of his presence."
-Fifth Flight, pages 333-34.

triangulation du jour

Maybe I was ten or eleven when my twin brother won a raffle. Had someone I was less identified with won, a particular distinction might not have been set into relief - something I had only known tacitly, but then recognized, was that I don’t win things.

Around that time I experimented with another notion - very reservedly I’d toss coins and guess whether they would be heads or tails, always guessing against my inclination, and to my recall I was surprisingly "on the money."

I reflect also how, not being a deadhead, I used be amazed that hippies would set themselves on the way to hitch a ride to some destination in the morning and arrive in the evening, while for me it would take two days of uncertainty. It is not difficult for me to recall my vain mindset, "please please please" or "relax, and wait" or "soon, soon," or even imperatively "NOW!"

I was reading a blog where someone discusses B’s Ts thematically. There’s definitely a place for that. Except it sometimes seems I can practically dispense with themes and read B’s Ts mathematically, the higher and the lower actualize the middle, or vice-versa.

Apes, for instance. Even though my life isn’t characterized by ruin, per se, many important aspects of my life are riddled with problems. I know that’s not unusual, except I find myself living in some vague netherland that’s neither one thing or the other. And I wonder if my excited reasoning ("please please please" or "relax, and wait" or "soon, soon," or even imperatively "NOW!") really achieve nothing? If my hyperactive emoting takes the lead, and my mind or body follow suit, perhaps that lawfully results in a state that is vague, as well as dreadful, a netherland that’s neither one thing or the other.

I bear in mind that gurdjieff did say "work as if everything depends on work; pray as if everything depends on prayer," but recognize that my pathetically imploring the universe might not constitute "prayer." I don't mean this to be idle speculation - to put this to the test, I'll work on myself while exiting my apartment and fully expect a roast pigeon to fly into my mouth. Postage included.

planet of the apes

i overheard a couple of men discussing what seemed an intense taoist retreat - though i'd consider that perhaps it was only the kind of spiritual retreat that a privileged mystical bent of wholistic gay guys, present company included, fall into, i did find it interesting.

a little later i asked another similarly-typed guy what hit tattoo was, thinking it was some mystical arabic inscribed in a circle but he said it was the first letter of the tibetan alphabet. upon commenting about that mandala he asked if i had meditative interests. it didn't take long for me to express distrust of lots that parades as "esoteric," including my relating that i had just overheard interesting details about an intense taoist retreat but questioned not only the trustworthiness of that program (mostly who purports to direct such a retreat) but what could be the purpose. he expressed a sentiment which surprised me, that one has to already have attained a certain maturity to know what one wants, to choose a path. as opposed to the usual "all paths lead to the same place."

i'm reading B'sTs, the apes chapter. B descends from mars because he and very learned essence friend wonder about the ape question, a matter which from time to time excites the interests of three-brained earthlings; from there B outlines different "results." the misbegotten ape species resulted from the combination of uncurbed passion along with the passive taking the role of active in relation to a lower force, which product is likewise given to titillation, and that result is even to this day misperceived by some earthlings as sacred. another result, though sterile, is much better than uncurbed passion, and that's the charting of the galaxy through what has devolved into astronomy. an alternative result is the relatively unchanging thought forms created by the beings of atlantis ...

i found the ape discussion remarkably meaningful for reasons i am not including here. but reflecting that, with regard to the relative unknowability of the prospects of any particular path, at least here G seemingly outlines that in some instances "by their fruit (result) you will (can) know (recognize) them."